


Raphael's daily struggle

by KerryAnne



Series: Raphael's daily struggle [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: "angst", "challenges", "compassion", "courage", "daily struggles", "drama", "family bonds", "family", "heroic", "labor", "loss", "love is eternal", "love", "mentally challenged", "paralysis", "reincarnation", "sibling love", "togetherness", "turtletots", F/M, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Turtlecest, physically challenged"
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-05-21 06:54:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6042243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryAnne/pseuds/KerryAnne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo and Don are mates and have three perfect children, but after an unexpected delivery, Leo has twins, Leonardo and Raphael. Leo is perfectly healthy and Raphael is mentally and physically challenged. This is the story of Raphael's daily struggle to survive and fit in with his "normal" siblings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Leo's labor

Leo is 24 and he and Don are mates. Leo and Raph sr used to be mates and had Tyler together.  
Raph was 15 when he died and never lived to see Tyler's hatching  
Don is 23  
Mikey is 22

Tyler's eight, emerald skinned and golden-eyed like his dad, Raph.  
Lisa's six  
Alex is four

Alex and Lisa are olive skinned like Don.

The twins :Leonardo and Raphael, who are four hours apart, are forest green and emerald green respectively.

 

Don and Leo stretched lazily, as they woke up. “Morning, handsome,” Don said, kissing his mate on the lips. “How did you sleep?”  
“Like a log. You?”  
“Same. I wish we could stay in bed today, but we have to get going soon if we want to…

“Daddy!” eight year old emerald skinned and golden-eyed Tyler shrieked, entering the room, followed by his siblings, six-year-old Lisa and four-year-old Alex. “It’s time to get up,” Lisa yelled, climbing onto Leo’s chest. “Daddy, is there a baby in there?” Lisa added, looking at Leo’s slightly swollen belly. 

“No,” Leo said. “Definitely not. I’ve just been eating more than I should, because it’s winter. Right, go to the kitchen. Your dad and I will be there now.”  
“Can you make pancakes, Daddy?” Tyler asked.

“Yes,” Don said. “I will. Get your siblings seated.” When the kids had gone, Don turned to his mate and said, “It’d be nice to have another baby, Leo.”  
“I think three is enough and after me almost dying laying the last egg, I don’t think my body can go through it again, Don.”  
“You’re probably right. It was just a thought. Hypothetically, if we had another kid, what would you name him or her?”  
“I like Jasmine if a girl and if a boy, Raphael. I know that would be awkward for you, but I would like to honor Raph. He was…”  
“You had a life before we hooked up, Leo,” Don said gently. “Raph was your first love and mate and I loved him a lot. He was a fantastic older brother and I also miss him. Tyler’s so like him in looks and personality. I think Raph would be proud of his son. I bet he’s watching down from Heaven with a huge smile on his face.”  
“I think so too,” Leo said, managing a small smile. 

“Daddy!” Tyler shouted from the kitchen. “We’re hungry!”  
Leo and Don chuckled and Don said, “Yes, Ty definitely has Raph’s impatience and temper. Come on, Leo.”

The turtles went into the kitchen and Don started to prepare breakfast. Not long after, Mikey sauntered into the kitchen, his girlfriend, Holly, in tow. “What are you making, Don?” Mikey asked.  
“Pancakes. They’re almost ready. Have a seat.”

The family sat down together and enjoyed breakfast. Then Leo and Don went to finish the rest of their packing. Afterwards, everyone piled into the van and headed to Mexico. “Daddy,” Tyler asked softly, from his seat next to Leo.  
"Yes?" Leo said.  
“Do you think Daddy can see me?”  
“Yes. He’s watching over you all the time, Ty. Every second. Raph was never one to miss anything and I’m sure he isn’t now.”  
“Do you think you can tell me more about him?”  
“Anytime you want. I have something for you. I’ll give it to you when we’re alone.”  
“I wish I’d known him,” Tyler said sadly.  
“Me too, Ty. He was one hell of a guy. You are so like him.”  
“I am?”  
Leo nodded. “He’d be so proud of you, like I am.  
Tyler beamed. “Daddy and you are my heroes, especially Daddy. Tell me the story how he died?”  
“How about later, okay? It’s a long drive and you should get some sleep. You were up late last night.”  
“Okay, Daddy,” Tyler said, clutching the red blanket draped over him. It had been Raph’s and he never went anywhere without it.

Nearly ten hours later, they arrived in Mexico at the cabin where April and Casey were waiting for them. “Welcome, guys,” Casey said. “April’s inside in the kitchen. Have a good trip?”  
“Long, but okay,” Leo said, stretching his legs and stifling a yawn. “Kids, go inside and wash up. I’m sure dinner will be ready soon.”  
“We’re barbecuing hamburgers.”

“Yahoo,” Tyler said. “I love barbecues. Daddy, do you need help?” he asked, looking at his parents.  
“No, buddy,” Don said. “Take your brother and sister inside and go wash up. We can handle things.”  
“Okay. Come, guys. Let’s go check out the place. I’m having the top bunk. Daddy said there were bunk beds.”

The kids ran off inside and Casey chuckled. “You guys sure have your hands full, Don and Leo.”  
“Yes,” Don said. “But we wouldn’t have it any other way. I just wish Dad was here to enjoy the trip with us. He always wanted to see Mexico. I can’t believe it’s been three years today since he died. Time flies.”

“It does,” Leo said, picking up a suitcase and suddenly feeling a stab of pain in his belly. Shit. What was that, he thought? Maybe something I ate. Must be that curry Mikey made last night. Damn. I should go walk it off. “Hey, Don, mind if I go for a walk? I’ll only be gone for twenty minutes. I feel a bit stiff after the car journey.”  
“Want me to come?”  
“No, I’ll be okay.”  
“Go, I’ll bring everything inside. You sure you’re all right?”  
“Nothing a brisk walk can’t fix.”

Alex came running out of the house and saw Leo walking away. “Daddy, I come too?” he asked, catching up to Leo.  
“Okay, squirt.”

Don and Casey brought the luggage in and Leo and Alex went off on their walk.

Fifteen minutes in, Leo started cramping again. Rubbing his belly, he groaned in agony and sank to his knees as the pain intensified. “Daddy?” Alex asked.  
“Get help, Alex,” Leo said, grimacing, sweat trickling down his face. “Now. Hurry.”  
The little boy stared at Leo for a second and then ran off.

It isn’t food poisoning I have, Leo thought. I’m in labor! How could I not have known I was? I knew with the others. The cramps became even stronger and Leo had an overwhelming desire to push, so he pushed with all his might and it wasn’t long before a perfectly, round egg sat at his feet. Panting heavily, Leo thought, please let that be the only one.

Alex found Don and Casey and Don immediately went in search of Leo. “Leo,” Don said, when he’d found his mate. “Leo, are you all right?”  
“Egg,” Leo gasped. “Labor.”  
Don looked at the egg and said, “Shh. It’s okay. We need to move, Leo, before it gets dark. Come.”  
“No, can’t move. Got to stay here. Hurts to….”  
“It’s okay, Leo. I’m here,” Don said, grabbing his hand. “I’m here.”  
“Don, I think there’s another one coming. GAH!”  
“I’m just going to get some water to cool you.”  
“Don’t leave me!”  
“I won’t…” Don got out his T-phone and told Casey where he was. He came running with a cold cloth, which Don used to wipe Leo’s forehead. “Shh, Leo,” Don said. “I’m here and I love you. It’s okay. Everything’s fine.”  
“ARGH!” Leo screamed. “Hurts so badly. Don, how can I not have known I was gravid?”  
“It sometimes happens, Leo. Shh. Just relax. Breathe in, okay? It’s going to be okay.”

Four hours later, Leo finally dropped another egg and to his immense relief, there were no more. The egg was much smaller than the other one, which worried his parents. “Not good news, Don?” Leo asked anxiously, running his hands over the smaller egg.  
“I don’t know, Leo. We’ll know when it hatches. In the meantime, we need to cover the eggs and we may have to stay here until they hatch.”  
“I’m cold, Don.”  
“Come, Casey. You take the eggs. Be careful how you hold them. Yes, hold them like that and don’t drop them. Come on, Leo. I have you,” Don said, picking up his mate bridal style. “Let’s get you back to the cabin.”

The trio headed back to the cabin. April had fed the kids and put them to bed. Don carried Leo to their bedroom and helped him into bed. “Sleep, Leo,” he said, kissing his beak.  
“What about the eggs?”  
“Casey, put them in this box over here and I’ll cover them with a blanket, but tomorrow I need you to see if you can get some incubators from a hospital.”

Casey did as he was told and said, “Don, you guys need anything?”  
“Leo?” Don asked. “You want some food?”

“Just sleep, Don,” Leo said wearily. “Food later.”  
“No, food now, Leo. You need to eat.”

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Casey said. “April made some stew yesterday. I’ll heat that up.” 

“Stay awake, Leo,” Don said. “Casey will be back in a few minutes with some supper.”  
“I’m so tired. Are the eggs okay?”  
“They’re here in this box, Leo, and they’re going to be okay. I promise. You thought of names?”  
“Raphael and I don’t know.”  
“How about we name the bigger egg Leonardo Yoshi and the smaller egg Raphael Firenzi?”  
“You would do that?”  
“Of course I would. I think Raph would love that. I bet he’s smiling right now at the idea.”  
“You’re wonderful, Don. Have I told you how much I love you?”  
“Love you too, Leo,” Don said, kissing his beak. “So, so much. And thank you for giving me two more children. I can’t wait until they hatch.”

Casey returned with two steaming bowls of stew. Don helped feed Leo his and wolfed down his own. Then the two mates snuggled down to sleep, hands entwined, worn out after such an exhausting day and the unexpected additions to their family.


	2. Heroic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to when Raph lost his life.

Up in heaven, Raph was sitting on a park bench, watching Leo and Don sleeping. I miss Leo, Raph thought for the billionth time. I’d give anythin’ ta be with him again and our son. Anythin’. Raph thought back to the day he’d lost his life and blinked back tears. It’s not that I regret givin’ my life so Leo could live. I’d do it again in a nanosecond. I just wish I’d lived ta see Ty hatch and hold him. Even once. Me and Leo had plans and in just a few seconds, everythin’ was gone. Hot tears streamed down Raphael’s face as he thought about the events of that day.

EIGHT YEARS EARLIER

Leo and Raph had been scoping out the sewers at two a.m., searching for a drug ring that were rumoured to be using it as a hideaway, when they spotted one of the gang members. Chasing after him, they found themselves in the subway. “Go back, Leo,” Raph told his mate. “Now.”  
“I’m not leaving, Raph. Let’s go. He’s just across the tracks.”Leo jumped down onto the tracks and was almost across it when he tripped and fell, landing hard on his carapace. “Leo!” Raph yelled, rushing to his mate and helping him to his feet. “Ya okay?”  
“I am now. Thanks, Raphie.”  
“Ya stupid bastard. What if….”

Raph’s words were cut off by the sound of an approaching train. Acting instinctively, Raph shoved his mate to the side and said, “Get ta safety, Leo. I’m comin’.”  
“Hurry, Raphie,” Leo said, doing as he was told.  
Raph made to follow his mate, but found his foot was caught in the tracks. Trying desperately to get free, he heard the train speed up and could only watch in abject horror as it headed towards him. “I love ya, Leo," Raph said, trying to be brave. “Remember that. I love ya and Ty, and I’ll watch over ya.”  
“Raph!” Leo screamed. “I’m coming.”  
“No. Don’t,” Raph said, waving his hands frantically, hoping the train driver saw him. 

The train driver didn’t see Raph and a second later, the train slammed into him, sending him flying high into the air and landing hard on his carapace several yards away. Leo scooped up his broken and battered mate and set him down gently on the ground. “Raphie, can you hear me?” Leo asked, sobbing. “Raphie.” His mate had multiple bruises and cuts and his body was twisted in a way that Leo knew wasn’t good. He yanked out his T-phone and said, trying not to break down, “Don, get to the subway by fifth and main. Raph’s been hit by a train. Please come now. It’s not looking good.” Leo took Raph’s hand and said, “Raphie, please. Open your eyes. I’m here.”  
Raph opened his eyes and said weakly, “Leo?”  
“I’m here,” Leo said, blinking back tears. “Hold on Raphie. Don and Mikey are on their way.”  
“I’m not gonna make it, Leo,” Raph said, grimacing as pain coursed through his body. He coughed, spitting up blood. “Tell our son I love him, will ya? And I want ya ta find another mate when yer ready. Don. He’d be perfect for ya.”  
“Raph, don’t say that. You’re going to be fine.”  
“Ya and I both know that ain’t gonna happen, Leo. I love ya and I’ll always love ya. Remember me and tell our son ‘bout me. Tell him ta be strong, but ta always have compassion and ta follow his heart. Tell him that I’m watchin’ over him. Tell Don and Mikey that I love them. Love ya, Leo,” Raph said, his eyes growing glassy.  
“No, Raph, don’t leave me.”  
Raph’s breathing started getting laboured and with his very last breath, he whispered, “Ya were my world, Leo. I love ya so, so much and I’ll always be by yer side even if it’s just in spirit.” His body shuddered as it went into the death throes and his golden eyes slid closed, never to open again.

“RAPH!” Leo screamed, flinging himself over his mate’s body. “Raph, come back to me. Raphie, don’t leave me. Raphie! This wasn’t supposed to happen. How can you be gone? Raph!”

Leo heard approaching footsteps and looked up to see Don and Mikey, who immediately sensed that Raph had passed. They gathered Leo into their arms and hugged him fiercely. Leo sobbed bitterly and said, “I can’t believe he’s gone. I... It all happened so fast and now…”  
“It’s going to be okay, Leo,” Don said, rubbing his shell. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I’m so, sorry, bro,” Mikey said, wiping tears from his eyes. “I am. I’m going to miss Raphie too.”  
Leo pulled away and said, “We have to get home and think about burial. I don’t want to even think about that, but…”

“It’s best it’s soon,” Don said. “Casey’s farm upstate that you and Raph loved, Leo. We’ll head there tomorrow morning.”  
“Raph would like that,” Leo said, sniffing. “I can’t believe he’s gone, Don. I just can’t. It feels so surreal. One minute he’s shoving me out of the way of the oncoming train and the next he’s flying through the air and…”Leo started to weep again and Don threw an arm around him.  
“Shh, Leo. It’s going to be okay. Let’s get you home and I’ll make you some tea.”  
“Fuck tea!” Leo roared. “It’s not going to bring Raph back. He’s gone and things will NEVER be the same again.”  
“You’re right, Leo. I was just trying to help.”  
“You want to help, then try and bring him back, Don. Find something that’ll bring him back.”  
“I can’t, Leo. There’s nothing I can do.”  
“Then you’re no help. Mikey, help me carry Raph.”

Leo and Mikey carried Raph home, took him into the infirmary and placed him on a gurney. “He looks so peaceful,” Leo said miserably. “Like he’s asleep.” Leo removed Raph’s bandanna and kissed his beak. “How can he be gone? It’s not fair. Raph, was so excited about the baby and now he’s never going to meet him. Fucking unfair!” Leo said, clenching his fists.  
“Raphie died a hero, bro,” Mikey said, placing a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “He died protecting you. You can tell the baby that and how courageous and selfless his daddy always was. Raphie had a temper, but his heart was pure and he loved us so much. He’d do anything for his loved ones, even giving his life and he did that for you, Leo. You should be proud of him.”

“Mikey’s right, Leo,” Don said. “Raph’s a hero and he’d understand we need to grieve. We’ll do that, but then he’d want us to celebrate his life and we can do that by living each day to the fullest, like he did, being true to oneself and being there for his son. We can also have a room dedicated to Raph.”  
“Like a shrine?”  
“Yes. With photos and whatever we want to commemorate our courageous brother.”  
“I like that and I think Raphie would too.”  
“And Leo, know that Mikey and I are here for you and the baby. Always.”  
“Thanks, Don. I’m sorry I was pissed at you. This is so overwhelming. Losing Raphie. I can’t believe he’s gone and I’m never going to hold him or love him again.”  
“You don’t need to apologize, Leo. I’d be the same way if I lost the love of my life.”

“Group hug,” Mikey said. “I think we all need it.” The brothers gathered into a group hug, shedding tears and thinking of their fallen brother.

PRESENT DAY, OCTOBER 16 

“Hello, Raphael,” Gabriel, one of the Arch Angels said, as he approached the turtle. “How are you today?”  
“Fine, I guess. Ya?”  
“All good. I see you’re watching your mate again.”  
“Yeah. I miss him and my son I never got ta meet so much.” Raph sighed wistfully.  
“Well, I want to talk to you about him.”  
“My son ain’t gonna cross over, is he or Leo?” Raph demanded.  
“Oh, no.”  
“Whew,” Raph said, sighing in relief. “Then why do ya want ta speak ta me?”  
“You love your mate, don’t you?”  
“Always have and always will.”  
“Would you go back in any shape or form even if you could just be close to him?”  
“Of course. Why do ya ask?” Raph asked, narrowing his eyes.  
“Leonardo’s laid two eggs. One is quite large and the other’s smaller.”  
“So? I know that. I saw that earlier.”  
“Well, the large egg is going to be called Leo…”  
“Yeah, and they’re namin’ the smaller one after me. I know,” Raph said irritably. “Stop talkin’ in riddles, Gabe, and tell me straight up.”  
Gabriel chuckled, used to Raph’s bluntness after eight years, and said, “The bigger egg will be fine and healthy, but the smaller baby won’t be. He’ll be mentally and physically challenged. Would you be prepared to go back as him, knowing what you know, just so you can be close to Leonardo and your son?”  
“YES. As long as I can be near them, I can handle anythin’.”  
“You’ll be born in December and you’ll look like your old self, but have the challenges as I said.”  
“So I’m Don and Leo’s son?”  
“You’re not their son. You’re yourself and no relation to them.”  
“But they’ll question my looks. They don’t look like me.”  
“Raphael, I’ll sort it out. I have to go. Speak soon.”

Raph watched his sleeping mate and thought, I don’t understand why I’m suddenly gonna be reincarnated and as a mentally and physically challenged baby, but I ain’t gonna question it. All that matters is that I’m gonna be near my Leo and my son. I’ll deal with whatever happens. I love ya, guys, and I can’t wait ta be with ya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, Raphie. Brave and selfless until the end.


	3. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don feels like he's in Raph's shadow, because Tyler talks about him all the time.

Don woke up at six the next morning, October 17, and got up gently, so he wouldn’t wake Leo, but his mate woke up and said, “Don, what time is it?”  
“Six. Go back to sleep, Leo. I’ll handle things.”  
“You sure?”  
“I am. You need to rest. Last night took things out of you.”  
Leo cast his eyes around the room and they landed on the eggs in the incubator. “Are they all right, Don? I’m very concerned about the smaller egg.”  
“I’m sure they’ll be fine, Leo. Maybe they’ll be Christmas babies. That would be awesome.”  
“I get a bad feeling that they’re not going to be.”  
“If that happens, we’ll handle it, but I’m sure things will be fine. Try not to worry, okay? I love you.”  
“Love you too,” Leo said sleepily, and closed his eyes.

Don went outside and found the kids in the kitchen with Mikey and Holly at the kitchen table. The kids were eating cereal. “Morning, Daddy,” Tyler said. “Is Daddy coming for breakfast?”  
“Hi, buddy,” Don said, and rubbed Tyler’s head affectionately. “Not yet. He’s sleeping.” Don then proceeded to kiss Alex and Lisa, who squealed happily.

“Hi, Don,” Mikey and Holly said in unison.  
“Hey. Where are Casey and April?”

“Still asleep, Don,” Mikey said. “Unusual that Leo’s still sleeping. Is he okay, bro?”  
“Last night, Leo unexpectedly went into labor and laid two eggs. One large one and one smaller one and they’ll probably hatch in December. This means that you’re a big bro again,Tyler, and you’re going to be a big bro, Alex. Leo’s tired, but he’s fine.”

“Congrats, bro,” Mikey said.  
“Way to go Don,” Holly said. 

“Ohh, a baby. Can we dress the baby up?” Lisa asked.  
“Will the baby like Space Heroes?” Alex asked.

“What’s wrong, Ty?” Don asked, noticing he’d been silent.  
“Thinking,” Tyler said, wrinkling his snout, the way Raph had done when he was deep in thought. “Are they going to be boys?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“My middle name’s Raphael, but can we name one after Daddy? He was a hero and I know he’d love it.”  
“Yes. We are planning on doing that.”  
“Cool. Something else I want to ask. My daddy talked with a Brooklyn accent. I watched the home videos you, Daddy, my daddy and Uncle Mikey made and I want to talk like my daddy too. He was so cool and the best fighter. And he told awesome jokes and his comebacks were cool. He’s my hero.”  
“Sure, Ty.”  
“Great. I’m done with breakfast, so can I go to my room?”  
“Sure.”  
Don watched his stepson leave the room and thought, I’m not jealous of Raphael at all, but sometimes it’s hard for me to hear how awesome Raph was and to be reminded that I’m Leo’s second choice and I know no matter what I do, Ty will never consider me his father, even though he calls me daddy. I think it’s more of a sign of respect than anything else.

“Daddy?” Lisa said. “Can we go play now? We’re finished?”  
“Yes,” Don said. “But stay inside. It’s cold and wet outside.”  
“My turn to choose what I want to watch,” Lisa yelled, as she and Alex ran out of the room.

“You okay, bro?” Mikey asked. “I know it’s rough listening to Ty talk about Raph.”  
“It’s fine,” Don said. “Honest. Raph was his dad. It’s normal he’d want to talk about him. It doesn’t bother me that he does, but…”

“I think what Don’s trying to say,” Holly said. “Is that Don’s reminded that he wasn’t Leo’s first choice and he sometimes feels like he’s in Raph’s shadow, but he can’t say anything, because it would hurt Tyler and ruin his relationship with him. Don’s walking a tight rope.”  
“Exactly. I’m the step dad and if I say anything, I’ll come off looking like an ogre, especially as I told Ty he was spending too much time watching the home videos. He told Leo, who basically said there was nothing wrong with Ty watching them and having a shrine dedicated to his father in his room.”  
“I think it’s creepy, but you’re right. If you say anything again, you’ll come off looking like an ass.”

“I feel for you, bro,” Mikey said. “But I have to agree with Leo and Ty. There’s nothing wrong with what Ty’s doing. Swallow your ego and accept that it’s nothing personal, but you’ll never be regarded as his daddy and he will always talk about Raph and you were not Leo’s first love. Raph’s Ty’s hero. You knew that would happen before you and Leo hooked up.”  
“Yes, but…” Don began.  
“No. No buts. Stop thinking of yourself, Don. The kid never knew his dad and he wants and needs to talk about him. You’re being a jackass.”  
“FUCK. All right. I’ll admit it. I’m jealous of Raph. I tell myself that I’m not, but I am. Raph this, Raph that. Like he’s a fucking saint. Well, he wasn’t. His recklessness and temper nearly got us killed more than once in battle.”  
“Don…”  
“He was a selfish, opinionated, lazy, grumpy jerk, and his jokes were pathetic. Top ninja? Don’t make me laugh. Raph was second rate and would have been better if he’d only handled his temper and aggression. He was a damn liability and honestly, sometimes I hated him. He pushed all of our buttons on a daily basis and yet he’s a damn saint?”

“I FUCKING HATE YOU!” Tyler yelled, his golden eyes blazing, and his shoulders shaking with rage. He’d come into the room to ask Mikey to come play a video game with him. “MY DADDY WAS A BETTER NINJA THAN YOU AND A HERO. YOU’RE LYING!” Tyler stormed out of the room and ran outside into the pouring rain; thoughts racing through his head like a greyhead. I hate Don. He’s lying. My daddy was a hero. A hero. I hate Don. I hate Don. Never going to call him Daddy again.

“I’ll go after him,” Mikey said. “You’ve done enough, bro.”

Mikey ran outside and soon caught up to Tyler. “Come home, Ty,” he said.  
“No. I hate him. He was wrong about my daddy.”  
“Of course he was. Raph was impulsive and had a temper sometimes, but he was gentle, had a pure heart and he was a fantastic ninja. Just like you will be. Don’s having a bad day….”  
“He didn’t like my daddy.”  
“He loved your daddy, but you know that Don wasn’t Leo’s first choice. Your daddy was, and sometimes Don’s reminded of that and feels bad, like he’s competing for Leo’s affections, which is silly, because your daddy isn’t here. Do you understand?”  
“He’s jealous of my daddy, Uncle Mikey? So I can’t talk about him?”  
“Of course you can talk about him, Ty, but try not to so much in Don’s presence. Do you understand?”  
“I think so, but I still hate him and my daddy would hate him too.”  
“Wrong. Raph would be mad that you’re hurting, but he’d also try to see it from Don’s perspective. And Raph didn’t bear grudges.”  
“He’d beat Don up first for upsetting me, right?”  
Mikey smiled. “Probably. He was very protective of the people he loved and he was close to Don. Before Raph passed, he asked Leo to marry Don, because he knew that Don would love you both and Don has been great to you.”  
“Not the same as my real daddy would have been. If it upsets Don so much, can I talk to you about Daddy?”  
“Anytime. I have tons of Raph stories you would love.”  
“Tell me!”  
“I’ll tell you at home and I think you and Don need to talk.”  
“Okay.”

Arriving home, Mikey took Tyler into the kitchen where Holly and Don had been talking. Holly excused herself and left the room. “Hi, buddy,” Don said, standing up. “Tyler, I’m sorry, but hearing about your daddy made me feel a bit jealous. I always feel like I’m in Raph’s shadow and I’m not good enough.”  
“Want me to leave, Ty?” Mikey asked.

“No, Uncle Mikey,” Tyler said. “That’s fine. I kinda see where yer comin’ from, Daddy. And yeah, I’m gonna talk like my daddy startin’ now. But one thing ya gotta understand, is that yer not my real daddy and ya will never be. My daddy’s up in heaven and I’m gonna talk ‘bout him. I don’t want ta make ya sad, so I’ll talk ‘bout him with Uncle Mikey. I’m gonna go ta my room.”  
“Ty….” Don said.  
“I wanna be alone right now, Daddy. Not sure I wanna call ya that either. I don’t think my daddy would want me ta.”

Don watched his stepson leave the room and said, “Mikey, have I lost him?”  
“I don’t know, Don. I hope not.”

Tyler slipped inside Leo’s bedroom. Sensing a presence in the room, Leo opened his eyes and said, “Ty, hi, buddy.”  
“How ya feelin’ Daddy?”  
“Tired, but all right. What happened? Have you been crying? And you’re talking like Raph.”  
“Yeah, do ya mind if I do?”  
“No. Are you okay?”  
Tyler shook his head. “Me and Daddy had words. Let me tell ya."  
When Tyler had finished, Leo said, “I’ll talk to Don, but it’s not easy for him. This whole business, Ty.  
“I know that.”  
“And he has been wonderful to you and accepted you as his own.”  
“He has, but he said mean things ‘bout Daddy.”  
“That wasn’t right. What a damn mess. Talk about Raph all you like, but try not to so much in Don’s presence.”  
“What if I don’t wanna call him Daddy no more?”  
“Do what your heart tells you, Ty, but I know it would hurt Don. He DOES love you and I don’t think Raph would mind. He wouldn’t see it as betrayal.”  
“I’ll think ‘bout it. Are those the babies?” Tyler asked, pointing at the incubator.  
“Yes. Excited?”  
“Yeah. I can’t wait until the squirt’s old enough ta play ball and do my homework.”  
Leo chuckled and said, “There’s a bag over there in the corner. Bring it here.”

Tyler handed the bag to Leo, who opened it and said, “This bag is yours, Ty. In it are some of Raph’s things I forgot we left here two weeks before he died.”  
“Oh, wow,” Tyler said, extracting several comic books, some books, a few of Raph’s diaries, Raph’s clothes, some spare bandannas and photos. Tyler fingered a bandanna and said, “Can I wear this, Daddy?”  
“Of course you can, but not at meal times. I still have lots of Raph’s stuff to give you and over time you’ll get it.”  
“Like his sai.”  
“Yes and when I’m feeling more rested, we’ll get back to your training.”  
“I can’t wait. I wanna be an awesome ninja like Daddy. Can I ask ya somethin’?”  
“Sure.”  
“Do ya still love Daddy?”  
“Raph? Yes.”  
“More than Daddy Don?”  
“Tyler….”  
“Please. I wanna know.”  
“Don’t tell him. It would hurt him, but yes. I miss Raph and not a second goes by that I don’t wish he were still here with me.”  
“Okay,” Tyler said, storing it up for ammunition. “Tell me a funny story ‘bout Daddy.”

Leo proceeded to tell Tyler about Raph’s fear of cockroaches and how Mikey had hid several in his bed, making the hothead scream like a girl. Tyler giggled and said, “Was Daddy mad?”  
“He was,” Leo said, and chuckled at the memory. “Raph got him back by putting baking soda into the ketchup. As soon as Mikey shook it, it exploded, landing on Mikey and the ceiling. You should have seen Mikey’s face. Priceless. Mikey was always pranking and Raph was his preferred target.”  
Tyler grinned and said, “Daddy had a sense of humor. I love it.”  
“He did and you take after him, my little man. Raph told jokes all the time and made me laugh. He also made me feel safe and secure and loved. Come sit with me. I’ll tell you some more stories.”

Tyler got into bed with Leo and Leo told him more stories, making the little boy giggle. 

Up above, Raph watched Leo and Tyler and thought, “I’ll soon be with ya and not a day goes by that I don’t think of ya too, Leo, and I’m so proud of ya for bein’ such a great daddy ta our boy. I always knew ya would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Tyler.


	4. Raph's diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler reads one of Raph's diaries and asks some very awkward questions. During a fight with Don, he tells him that Leo never loved him and only loves Raph, causing Don to leave.

FLASHBACK LEO’S 16TH BIRTHDAY, FEBRUARY 8 

RAPH’S POV 

Raph woke up at six and looked next to him. Leo was fast asleep, his gentle breathing making his chest rise and fall. I love him so much, Raph thought, looking tenderly at his gravid mate. I love everythin’ ‘bout him. His gentle nature, his eyes that I could drown in, his fuckin’ hot body, that tail that teases me, our banterin’, which everyone knows is our foreplay for sex. And I just wanna fuck him and fill him up. God, I’m such a lucky turtle ta have Leo. Raph ducked his face and nuzzled it against Leo’s neck, his warm breath tickling Leo’s neck. Leo reached up, pulled Raph down beside him, opened his eyes and said, “Morning’, Raphie.”  
“Mornin’, Fearless. How are ya and Ty doin’?” Raph asked, rubbing Leo’s swollen plastron.  
“Other than me feeling like a beached whale, we’re good. How are you, Daddy?”  
Raph grinned and said, “I’ll be better once the baby’s born. I miss bein’ with ya, Leo. Usin’ my hand ain’t the same.”  
“Me too, Raphie, but Don told us that we shouldn’t make love until the baby’s born and you know he’ll be mad if we disobey him.”  
“Pft,” Raph scoffed. “I can still make ya feel good. Screw what Donnie says and ya know it may make the baby come earlier.”  
“The baby will come when he’s ready, Raph.”  
“But I want him ta come soon, Leo. In case I…” Raph’s voice trailed off and his eyes clouded.  
“You’re having that dream again, Raphie, aren’t you?” Leo said, his voice laced with concern.  
“Yeah. That dream ‘bout me bein’ hit by a train and occurrin’on February eighteenth. Two days before yer gonna lay the egg and two days after my birthday.”  
“It’s just a dream, Raphie,” Leo said, and kissed him tenderly. “Not going to happen. We’re both going to be there for the egg laying, the hatching and we’re going to have a long life together, okay? We’re going to have tons of babies, like we talked about, okay?”  
“Okay. Let me love ya, Leo…”Raph pleaded. “I wanna be in ya. I need ta be in ya.”  
“But Donnie…”  
“Screw Donnie. Let me. I need closeness, Leo. Please.”

Leo shifted into a comfortable position and Raph lined his dick at Leo’s entrance, thrusting in and out, forming a steady rhythm that had both of them churring so loudly, Raph wondered if the others heard them. Raph licked and sucked at Leo’s neck, enjoying the low moans he pulled from his mate. Leo’s so sexy, Raph thought, especially when he’s beneath me. Their lovemaking continued with the churring getting increasingly louder, as Raph’s thrusting grew more intense, making Leo cry out his name in ecstasy. Both came at the same time, Raph shooting his seed deep inside of Leo. Then he flopped down beside his mate and said breathlessly, “I love ya, Leo. Thank ya.”  
“I love you too, Raphie. I have something to tell you. I think my water just broke.”  
“What?” Raph asked, sitting upright.  
“That’s right…The baby’s coming, Raphie. Get Donnie.”

A frantic Raph leapt out of bed and raced to Don’s bedroom. “Don, Leo’s water just broke. Come quickly!”  
“You sure it’s not another false alarm, Raph?” Don asked irritably, opening his door and peering at his brother. “You two have had several.”  
“No, no. It’s the baby. Leo says so. Come.”  
“All right. Let me get my medical equipment.”

Donnie joined the hot headed turtle in his and Leo’s bedroom and said, “Leo, how far apart are the contractions?”  
“I don’t know. They just started,” Leo said, trying not to scream, as a stab of pain hit him. 

“He’s gonna be okay, right, Don?” Raph asked anxiously, clutching Leo’s hand.  
“Yes. Wipe his face with this damp cloth, Raphie, and stay with him,” Don said, switching on the video cam nearby. “Leo, when the time comes, I want you to keep pushing like we discussed, okay?”

“Okay,” Leo said, breathing in and out. “Raphie, don’t leave me.”  
“I won’t. Not ever,” Raph said, and kissed his cheek. “Aishiteru always, Leo.”

Leo was in labor for six hours and when he finally laid his egg, a little after one p.m., he was exhausted and immediately fell asleep. Raph gazed down at the perfect little white egg he held in his hands and kissed it tenderly. “I can’t believe the egg’s here, Donnie,” he said. “I’m a Daddy.”  
“Congrats, Raphie. You and Leo did a great job. Give me the egg. I need to put it in the incubator.” Raph kissed the egg, handed it to his brother, who put it in the incubator. Then Raph said, “When’s he gonna hatch?”  
“Approximately April eighth.”  
“Can ya make him hatch faster?”  
“You having that dream again, Raph? Nothing’s going to happen. You and Leo are going to be terrific parents, have many kids and have a long life together, so stop worrying. And I can’t make him hatch faster. He’ll hatch when he’s ready, okay? But things are fine, Raphie. Enjoy the moment and get some sleep, Daddy. You look worn-out too. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”  
“Thanks, Don.”  
Don clapped a hand on his shoulder and said, “You’re going to be an awesome Daddy, Raph. Congrats again, big brother.”

When Don had left, Raph pulled out his diary and wrote, “Today Leo laid our egg. I can’t believe the egg’s finally here. I can’t wait ta meet our Ty and show him how ta play ball, teach him ninjitsu, how ta swear, take him on my bike. I already love Ty so much that I could burst. The egg’s so perfect, but seein’ it come out of Leo was kinda scary. I thought I was gonna faint, but I didn’t and Leo looked so beautiful. Gravidness suits him and I know we’re gonna have more babies. Maybe a girl next time. I’m so happy. I have an amazin’ family, a baby and Leo. I’m a very lucky turtle and ta the Great Bein’ up there, I just wanna say thank ya for everythin’. The only thing that bugs me is that dream, but my bros tell me it’s just a dream, so maybe that’s all it is. Fuck. I’m a Daddy! Me, Raphael. Who’d have thought I’d ever be? And it’s all thanks ta Leo, my soulmate. Aishiteru, Leo. Raph settled down and was soon fast asleep, one hand resting on Leo’s thigh.

RAPH’S 15TH BIRTHDAY, FEBRUARY 16

RAPH’S DIARY

So today was an amazin’ day. Leo made me breakfast in bed and then we made love. Well, oral. Leo blew me and it was so fuckin’ hot, especially as Mikey walked in and caught us. Hehehe. I always wanted ta be caught makin’ love and well, it was so damn hot. Leo blushed of course, bein’ so reserved, but I just laughed. Mikey’s cheeks were the reddest he’s ever been and he’s been avoidin’ lookin’ at us! Haha. Serves him right for walkin’ in without knockin’. I took Leo for a bike ride before April and Casey came over for the party—Wait. I forgot ta yell ya ‘bout my gifts. Ya know how I said Leo’s reserved? I take it back. He bought some sex toys for us. Can ya believe it? He ordered them online ta be delivered at April’s and she brought them over last night, because Leo said he wanted ta give me my gifts in bed this mornin’. My eyes bugged out when I saw them, makin’ Leo laugh. Well, I tried the butt plug and it was sooo nice, fittin’ in my ass and when Leo’s feelin’ more rested, we’re gonna try the rest hehe. Hell, I love him so much. The others got me a new bike helmet, cash and tons of other things, but the sex toys and our egg are the best presents I could ever have wished for. I’m so damn lucky. I had that dream again, but Leo tells me it’s just a dream. I hope so, because I love Leo and our baby so, so much. Donnie said the egg’s doin’ well. So I’m one happy turtle! Gotta go. Leo just said he’s willin’ ta try the cock ring and he’s feelin’ horny, so will write tomorrow!”

PRESENT DAY, OCTOBER 17

The rest of the day Tyler had spent avoiding Don and reading diaries that Leo had brought along from home for him. As he closed Raph’s diary with Feb 16 being the last entry, Tyler thought, what’s blowin’ mean, what are sex toys and what’s a butt plug? Gotta ask Daddy. Daddy Raph seems to love sex toys and he seems like a nice guy. Tyler sighed and tears ran down his cheeks. Wish Daddy were alive.

Over dinner that evening, Tyler said, “Daddy, what’s blowin’?”  
The question caught Leo off guard and he nearly choked on his pasta. It was Don who answered. “Blowing bubbles,” Don said quickly. “Why are you asking, Ty?”  
“I didn’t ask ya. I asked Daddy!”

“It’s exactly what Don said,” Leo said, shooting a grateful glance at his mate. “And don’t be rude to your father, Ty.”  
“He ain’t my dad. Raph is. What’s a butt plug and what are sex toys?”

“Things for adults,” Mikey said. “Why are you asking, Tyler?”  
“Daddy wrote about it in his diary. What are they? And what’s a cock ring?”

“Enough!” Leo said. “You’re too young to know these things and which diary was it, Ty?”  
“The crimson bound one. His last diary. He had that dream.”  
“I see. Well, don’t read it again. It’s for adults and…”  
“I just wanna know what these things are.”  
“Toys for adults.”  
“Will ya show me?”  
“No. When you’re older, I will. Now eat up.”

The younger kids just ate, not bothered. They were used to Tyler asking questions, especially at dinner time. The family finished dinner and Tyler helped Don with the dishes. “I was thinking that me and you could watch a movie, Ty,” Don said amiably.  
“Got plans. Gonna watch a movie. Bye!”

Tyler ran out of the kitchen and said, “Daddy, can I play games on my PC in my room?”  
“Sure,” Leo said. “I’ll be in at eight to say good night.”

Tyler went to his room, closed the door, booted up his laptop and popped the DVD in. When it started playing, he saw Leo and Raph lying in bed and heard Raph saying, “That’s it, Fearless. Fuck me. Ah. Yes. Like that. Yes, yes, yes! Oh, yes! Ngh! I’m gonna come!” 

Tyler was so absorbed in the movie he didn’t hear the door open. “What are you doing, Ty?” Don asked. “I came to see if you wanted some cocoa.”  
“Watchin’ my Daddy. He and Daddy are playin’ a game and they’re loud!”  
Don gazed at the screen and his jaw dropped. “Turn that off now, Ty!” he ordered.  
“No. Yer not my daddy and ya can’t tell me what ta do!”  
“Tyler!” Don said, picking up the laptop. “You know you’re not allowed to watch adult movies. I’m taking your laptop away until further notice.”  
“But that’s my daddy!” Tyler yelled, his face darkening in rage.  
“I don’t care!”  
“I HATE YA AND YA KNOW WHAT DADDY DOESN’T LOVE YA. HE ONLY LOVES DADDY RAPH. HE SAID SO,” Tyler shouted, a triumphant smile on his face, as hurt flickered on Don’s face. 

“What’s going on?” Leo asked, entering the room. “I heard shouting.”  
“Is it true, Leo?" Don asked.  
“Is what true?”  
“You love Raph and never loved me.”  
“Don, it’s….”  
“Painfully clear that’s the case,” Don said angrily, throwing the laptop onto the ground and making the screen shatter. “I’ve tried my best to be a dad to Tyler, to be the perfect mate, but I can’t compete with Raphael.”

“Damn straight!” Ty said, picking up his laptop and staring angrily at the smashed screen. “Jerk!”

“Donnie,” Leo began, ignoring his son’s outburst. “What are you saying?”  
“I’m saying we’re done. You can’t let go of the past, Leo, and I can’t keep being reminded of Raph and how fucking perfect he was. I’ll be there for the kids, but me and you are done.” Don stalked out of the room, leaving a baffled Leo and a ranting Tyler.

“Daddy, he broke my laptop,” Tyler whined.  
“What happened, Ty?” Leo demanded. “Why did you tell him what I said? It was a secret.”  
“I was angry, Daddy, because he wouldn’t let me watch my movie. I found a movie with ya and Daddy Raph playin’ and ya were loud.”  
Fuck, Leo thought, realizing what movie. One of our porn videos. No wonder Donnie was upset and probably said Ty should stop watching. Ty got mad and told Donnie I don’t love him like I love Raph. And now Donnie and I are…”  
“Daddy, are ya mad with me?”  
“YES!” Leo said. “I am. Donnie was right to tell you not to watch the movie. If I’m not in the room, he’s in charge. You know that, Ty, and now you’ve upset Donnie, who has only been good to you. You can stay here for the rest of the evening and think about what you’ve done.”  
“I just wanted ta see Daddy Raph!” Tyler said tearfully. “I just wanted ta see my Daddy. Don’t be mad, Daddy!”

Leo walked out and went in search of Don. “Where’s Donnie, Mikey?” Leo asked, not finding him anywhere.  
“Out. Said he needed some breathing space, bro. You two have a fight?”  
“Yes. He can’t go out. It’s late and…”  
“Whatever it is, you will work it out, bro.”  
“It’s Tyler. He told Donnie that I never loved him and only love Raph and Donnie was hurt.”  
“I’ll talk to Ty, but don’t worry, Leo. Donnie will come back and you will work things out.”

Leo put the kids to bed and thought, I hope Donnie comes back. I do love Raph more. I always will, but I love Donnie and our family and I don’t want him to leave. Donnie, come back. Please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Don come back?


	5. Raph's return (sort of)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph's given a night to spend with his son and Leo and can finally tell them both how much he loves them. Aww. I just love family reunions.

Raph was watching his son crying in his room and his heart ached for him. He wished he could go be with him, but he knew he couldn't. It wasn't allowed. He sighed heavily and continued gazing at his boy. "Raphael," a voice said.

"Yeah, Gabe," Raph said, looking up and seeing the Arch angel.

"You look so forlorn. What ails you?"

"My boy's cryin', Gabe, and I can't be with him. I'd like ta be with him and ta talk ta him and Leo. I know it ain't possible, but I wish ta hell it was."

"You can go back, Raphael, but when I call you back, you must come."

"In my spirit form?"

"Yes. Your boy will see you and so will Leonardo, but only if they acknowledge that they really do believe in the afterlife. It may take some convincing with Leonardo. Since you left him, he lost his faith. Maybe you can restore it."

"Thanks, Gabe. I owe you one," Raph said, and waved goodbye. Then he entered the farmhouse and went into Tyler's bedroom.

XXX

Tyler was crying in his room when he sensed a presence. Looking up, he saw someone who was the spitting image of him. "Daddy Raph?" he asked in surprise.

"Tyler," Raph said and smiled at him. "It's okay, my boy. Wow. Look at ya," Raph added. "Yer beautiful. Me and Leo did good. Can I have a hug?"

"But how can I see ya? Yer not alive?" Ty asked, wrinkling his snout in confusion.

"I don't know, but I see ya all the time. Ya and yer daddy and I hate seein' ya sad."

"If ya come back, I won't be sad, Daddy. Can ya?"

"I am always with ya, Ty," Raph said, placing his hand on the boy's heart. "Give me a hug now. Please, Ty."

The boy nuzzled into Raph's plastron and both shed tears, as Raph wrapped his arms around him. "I've dreamed of this moment," Raph said, choking back a sob.

"Me too, Daddy," Ty said tearfully.

They hugged fiercely for a long time. Then Ty pulled away and said, "I love ya, Daddy."

"Love ya too, sweet boy," Raph said, and kissed his forehead. "Soon I'm gonna be my yer side all the time, Ty, but after tonight I gotta go back until then."

"But how if ya can't come back? I don't understand, Daddy."

"Do ya know what reincarnation is, Ty?"

"No," Ty said, and shook his head. "What is that?"

"When people die, they sometimes come back in different forms, like a man will come back as a dog or a butterfly, but no one will know who he is. Ya follow me?"

"Are ya sayin' yer gonna come back, but I won't know ya?"

"No, ya will definitely know it's me, but until that day, Ty, I want ya ta do somethin' for me. Be a good boy for Daddy Leo. He loves ya so much and so do I."

"If ya love me so much, why did ya leave?" Tyler demanded.

Raph pulled his son down onto the bed and sat down beside him. "I didn't wanna leave ya, Ty, but I didn't have a choice. The injuries from the train were too severe and too much of a toll on my body."

"I wish Donnie had died instead! I hate him!"

"Now, now, none of that talk," Raph said crossly. "Donnie's a good person, Ty, and he loves ya."

"No, he doesn't. Not like ya," Ty said, tears in his eyes. "Yer my real daddy and my hero. Donnie says I'm obsessed with ya and he hates me talkin' 'bout ya."

"Because he feels he can't compete with a ghost, Ty, and he feels like he's in my shadow. He felt it when I was alive and he's still feelin' it. It's hard for him bein' a step dad and knowin' he was never Leo's true love and he'll never be it. He knows if I hadn't died that Leo and I'd still be together. Ya give him such a damn time and I understand ya love me, but ya gotta cut him some slack, my little man."

"He's an asshole!" Tyler growled. "Why are ya defendin' him, Daddy?"

"Ya not only got my accent, ya got my foul mouth and I bet it drives Donnie nuts. He always hated my swearin'. Yer quite a firecracker, Ty. Chill. Look, I know Donnie can be a bit annoyin', but he ain't an asshole and he loves ya. All he wants is for ya ta love him."

"But I don't love him like I love ya. It's disloyal if I do, because he's not my Daddy and…"

"He ain't yer daddy, but it's not disloyal ta me if ya love him. It's okay. I want ya ta. Ya will always be my little boy, Ty, but it's okay ta love Donnie and he needs all the love he can get. Things are gonna be tough when the babies arrive and he's gonna need yer help. Will ya help him?"

"How? I ain't a babysitter and I ain't gonna change diapers."

"One of the babies is gonna have huge problems, Ty, and both Leo and Donnie will be extremely stressed and will need yer help with them and yer other siblings."

"What kind of problems? And how do ya know this?"

"Little birdy told me. Do it for me and for Leo then. If not for Donnie. I love Leo and miss him so much. Please, Ty."

"Okay, Daddy."

"Great," Raph said and smiled. "Will ya make up with Donnie?"

"Do I have ta?" Ty huffed.

"Yeah. See when ya fight with Donnie, it makes Leo extremely tense and sad, because he feels caught in the middle. He loves ya both."

"But me more."

"Of course. Yer his baby, but do ya understand what I mean?"

"Yeah. Fine. I'll talk ta him."

"That's my good boy. And Ty, I'm so proud of ya and yer gonna be an incredible ninja someday. I've seen ya trainin'."

"Really?" Ty asked excitedly.

"Yeah, but ya gotta control yer anger a bit more and listen ta Leo more. Do yer katas, focus durin' trainin' and don't get so damn angry."

"I'll try."

"I gotta go, but know I'm with ya always, my sweet boy," Raph said and pressed a kiss on Ty's forehead.

"Where ya goin', Daddy? Don't leave me?"

"Yer grandpa's got dinner waitin' for me back at our house."

"I thought ghosts didn't eat."

Raph chuckled and said, "No, we do."

"I don't want ya ta go, Daddy. Please stay," Ty begged. "I'll get ya some dinner from the kitchen if ya stay."

"Ya do that. I got somethin' ta do and I'll be back now."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

XXX

While Ty was in the kitchen, Raph went into Don and Leo's room. Leo was sitting on the bed and Raph's heart overflowed with love, as he gazed at him. Leo sensed a presence in the room and said, "Is someone there?" Getting no answer, he said, "Now I'm imagining things. Don't be silly, Leo. There's no one here, but you."

Raph opened the dresser and pulled out a notebook and a pen. Leo watched in shock, as the dresser opened and a notepad hovered in the air before settling on the bed. Then he watched as the pen began to write on the paper. "First I'm hearing things and now I'm seeing things," Leo said, clapping a hand to his head. "I must be delirious."

"Ya ain't," Raph wrote on the paper. "I'm back, Leo, and if ya say ya believe it's me, ya will see me. Come on, Leo. Say the words."

"I'm seeing things. Ghosts don't exist."

"Fuck, yer stubborn!" Raph wrote. "Fearless leader…."

"Now the ghost is writing the nickname Raph had for me. Could be it him?"

"Yes! Open yer eyes properly, Leo, and look at me. Say ya believe in me and the afterlife. Come on."

"But how?"

"Leo!"

"Raph? Is it really you? I'm not dreaming?"

"No," Raph wrote. "Say ya believe. The kid saw me, because he believes in the afterlife and we talked."

"You talked to our boy? I believe, I believe. I want to see you, Raph. Show me you. Please," Leo said, stretching out a hand.

Raph took it, squeezed it and said, "Can ya feel it? Can ya see me?"

"Yes," Leo said in shock, seeing his mate beside him. "I see you, but how, Raph? All this time I've wanted to see you. Why do you suddenly appear now? Why didn't you come sooner?"

"I don't know, Leo. Fuck, yer gorgeous, ya know that? Just as gorgeous as when I was last with ya."

Leo blushed and said, "You are too, Raphie, and you haven't aged a bit. I miss you so much, you know."

"Me too, Leo, but I'm always with ya and Ty and I watch out for yer other kids too. They're excellent kids and yer an amazin' daddy and I always knew ya would be. I'm proud of ya, Leo, and I love ya."

"I love you too, Raphie," Leo said, blinking back tears. "I will always love you and I wish you hadn't…"

"Me too," Raph said, gently thumbing Leo's tears away. He pressed his lips against Leo's, kissed him and said, "Do ya feel that?"

"Yes," Leo said, leaning against Raph. "I didn't know ghosts could kiss."

"Neither did I," Raph said and grinned. "But now I do, I don't wanna stop kissin' ya."

"Then don't," Leo begged. "Stay with me."

The bedroom door opened and Don entered. "Don?" Leo said in surprise. "You're back."

"I am," Don said coolly, removing his coat and throwing it onto the bed. It landed on Raph. "You should go talk to your son. He told me a ghost made friends with him and the ghost was hungry, so he got leftovers and took it to his room. Ghosts? They don't exist. Casey has a shrink friend we could take the kid to. He's got a few screws loose just like Raph did."

"Raph wasn't crazy," Leo said defensively. "And neither's Ty, Donnie. He's just a…"

Raph clenched his fists angrily and bit his tongue. How fuckin' dare Donnie say that, he thought. Ty's not crazy and neither am I.

"Just what, Leo? He's fucked-up. Just like Raph was," Don said. "And he's going down the same way as Raph. A terrible foul mouth sometimes, that accent and his anger issues."

Raph angrily picked up the coat and threw it on the floor. It landed at Don's feet and he said, "How did that coat get onto the floor, Leo? It was on the bed."

"Maybe you upset a ghost and it did that."

"Very funny. I'm seeing things, but your kid is mixed up and I love the kid, Leo. I'm only saying that because I love him and I want him to get help. And I want our family to be like it was. Happy and I want your kid to love me. And I don't want us to fight. We need to be a united family, especially with two more babies."

"I agree, Donnie. I want us all to get along."

"And tell him to stop comparing me to Raph, Leo, because it hurts me."

"I told him that," Raph whispered. "Leo…"

"Did you say something, Leo?" Don asked.

"No. Maybe it was the ghost."

"Hahaha. Funny. I'm going to watch a movie. Come join me?"

"I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed."

"Okay. I'll see you later, Leo."

When Don had gone, Raph said, "I should go too, Leo. I promised Ty I'd be there for him."

"No, Raphie. Get Ty and stay with me tonight. Don't go."

"All right. How can I resist ya?" Raph said and smirked.

XXX

Tyler had fallen asleep and Raph fetched the sleeping boy, placed him on Leo's bed and covered him with the blankets. Then he crawled into the middle and said, "Just like old days, Leo."

"Just like," Leo said, looking at him tenderly and placing a kiss on his beak. "I hope you don't have to leave again."

"I will have ta, Leo, but not tonight and soon enough ya will have me again."

"Huh?"

"Nothin'. Just lie there, Fearless. I'm here and as long as I can, I'm gonna stay here with ya and Ty, but if ya wake and I'm not here, know I got called back and I didn't leave because I wanted ta."

"Okay. Kiss me, Raphie."

"Ya know it's cheatin' on Donnie, right?"

"I know, but technically you're not real, so it's technically not cheating, Raphie. Kiss me or do I have to beg?"

"Ya know I love it when ya beg," Raph said, and winked. He smashed Leo's mouth onto his and they kissed deeply, until both were gasping with air. Tyler, thankfully, was a deep sleeper and didn't stir. The lovers snuggled up next to one another and Raph whispered, "I love ya, Leo, and I always will."

"Love you too, Raphie."

Leo soon fell asleep and Raph watched him sleep and thought, this is heaven bein' with my mate and baby and if only I could be here forever. I know Donnie's a good mate ta Leo, but I'm who Leo loves most and why can't time be reversed and we go back and the accident never happened? I wish ta hell the Great Being could do that for me, but I know It's pointless. I can't change the future or the past and I just gotta be grateful that I got this time and ta tell them I love them, because when I come back, I'll probably never be able ta communicate properly and tell them I love them.

A/N I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages. Been a bit stuck. 

I've always believed in the afterlife and believe that once we pass, we watch over our loved ones.

Thank you to everyone supporting my stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in ages. Been stuck :)


	6. Double trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins hatch and after Don examines the babies, he makes a heart breaking discovery that will challenge the family both emotionally and physically.

The family had decided to stay at the farm house until the twins had hatched, which thrilled the kids. They loved the open space, playing outside and the fresh air. A few weeks after their arrival at the farm house, April and Casey had learned she was six weeks pregnant and they were all excited, especially little Lisa, who loved feeling April's tummy and asking when the baby would be born. Relations between Don and Ty were still strained, the latter still furious with him for the breakage of his lap top. He hadn't gotten a new one and the little boy was upset. He'd loved playing video games on it and talking to his online friends, the only connection with the outside world. And he was irate that no matter what he said, Don refused to believe that ghosts existed. Raphael had left that evening after he, Ty and Leo had reconnected, but Raphael still made contact with them by leaving letters in their dressers that they'd both read when alone. Leo and Ty both treasured them and kept them hidden from everyone.

On Christmas Eve after a dinner of April's meatloaf, the family were gathered in the lounge, carols playing on the CD player, the tree beautifully decorated, bowls of nuts and chocolates on the coffee tables, glasses of mulled wine in the adult's hands, except for April, who drank hot chocolate, and the little ones babbling, sitting by the tree, looking forward to Christmas Day. All apart from Ty, who stood, a scowl upon his face, arms crossed. "What's wrong, buddy?" Leo asked from his place next to Don on the sofa.

"Nothin'."

"If it were nothing, Ty, you wouldn't look like that. What's up?"

"I said nothing!"

"It's Christmas, Ty," April said with a smile. "Cheer up, sweetheart. Santa's coming tomorrow. Isn't that exciting?"

"Santa ain't real. He's just a fairy tale."

Alex looked up and said, with tears in his eyes, "Is that true, Daddy?"

"Of course it's not true," Don said. "Santa's real, Alex. Why would you say that, Ty?"

"Because every year I ask him ta bring me somethin' and he don't do it! If he were real, he'd bring it!"

"And what's that?" Leo asked.

"Daddy Raph," Ty said. "I've been askin' him every year and he don't do it, so he ain't real."

"Ty," Leo said, getting up. "It would be really tough to wrap Raph up and place him on the sleigh. There's only enough space for Santa and Raph would hate being wrapped up like a mummy. Santa wants to bring him, but he can't. But he is real and he loves you and the kids and loves bringing you presents."

"Whatever," Ty said dismissively. "I'm gonna go ta bed." He turned and headed to his room.

"Daddy, Santa is real, isn't he?" Lisa asked.

"Yes," Don said. "And he's going to eat the milk and cookies you left him and when you open your eyes tomorrow, your presents will be under the tree."

"Yay!" Lisa said, clapping her hands. "Did he bring the Barbie I wanted?"

"Maybe," Don said, a twinkle in his eye.

"And the boat I wanted?" Alex asked hopefully.

"Possibly," Leo said. "You two have been such good kids all year and Santa knows that. I'll be right back."

Leo left his family and went to Ty's room, finding the boy staring at a photo of Raph that he held in his hands. "Hey," Leo said.

"Hi," Ty said, clutching the photo to his chest.

"Ty, Santa…."

"He ain't real, Daddy. I know he ain't, so don't lie ta me."

"How do you know?"

"I've seen ya and Da…Don place the presents under the tree when ya think I'm asleep in bed. He ain't real and he don't eat the cookies. Ya two do."

Leo sighed and said, "Yes, you're right, but please stop spoiling it for your brother and sister. They believe in him, Ty, and I love seeing how happy they are when they open their presents from Santa, their eyes shining. We don't get much in the way of happiness and they have a tough life ahead. They'll never be accepted in society, just like you, and they need something to believe in. Even if it's for a short while. Come to the lounge just now and say you were wrong about Santa. Please."

"All right, Daddy, but I do wish ya could bring Daddy Raph back."

"I wish I could too, but I can't, Ty. It's not within my powers. All I can do is love you and try to be a good daddy to you and your brother, sister and the twins. I'd hoped you'd still believe in Santa for a while. I want you to believe in something, Ty. Something that gives you hope and joy."

"I believe in Daddy Raph and ya, Daddy, and that Daddy Raph's with us and watchin' over us. And yer a great daddy. I wouldn't want anyone else."

Tyler wasn't an overly affectionate kid, just like Raphael had been, but now he hugged Leo fiercely and said, "I love ya, Daddy."

"I love you too, my sweet boy," Leo said, pulling apart and looking at him tenderly. "Raph would be so proud of you. You're growing into such a lovely and handsome kid."

Tyler puffed up his chest in pride and said, "Well, Daddy Raph always said he was the most handsome and I take after him."

Leo laughed and said, "He was. Sexy, smart, caring. The whole package and you are a legacy to our love. Now, come on. Let's go to the others."

XXX

Leo and Ty had just entered the lounge, when a cracking sound could be heard in one of the rooms. "What's that noise?" Casey asked.

"Sounds like cracking," Leo said. "I think the babies are hatching."

Leo and the rest quickly headed into the room and to his immense delight, the eggs were indeed hatching. Forest green hands reached up outside the shell and a tiny whimper was heard.

"What's happening, Daddy?" Alex asked.

"You're about to become a big brother, Alex," Don said, drawing his kids close. Their eyes were wide with fascination and their mouths open.

"Babies," Lisa said happily. She'd seen Alex hatch and knew what the cracking sound was.

"This is so exciting," Casey said. "But why isn't the other one hatching?"

"I don't know," Leo said, fear creeping into his heart that something was wrong with the other baby. "Maybe it will just now. Let's wait and see."

The family waited and gradually, the shell of the first egg fell away and a little forest green turtle appeared, his tiny fists flailing, as he wailed, face scrunched up, sapphire eyes wide. "Maybe he's hungry?" April suggested.

"I think so," Leo said, going to him and picking up the infant and tenderly planting a kiss on his beak.

"He's gorgeous," Casey said. "Spitting image of you, Leo."

"I want to hold him, Daddy," Alex begged.

"Just now, baby," Leo said, handing the infant to Don, who grinned and cradled him against his plastron.

"He's so precious," Holly cooed from next to Mikey.

"Can't wait until we have our own," Mikey said. "He's adorable."

Suddenly, a whimper could be heard from the second egg, but there was no cracking sound. "The baby's alive," Don said in relief. "Maybe he'll break the shell now."

Five minutes passed, but nothing had happened, the baby still sobbing, so Leo said, "I'm going to crack the shell myself and give him a helping hand." He did so and the shell fell apart, revealing an emerald skinned and golden eyed baby, who unlike his twin, didn't move his limbs. He just lay there and stared at everyone, golden eyes wide, drooling.

"He looks like me, Daddy!" Tyler said.

Leo nodded, troubled the baby wasn't moving his limbs. Gut told him there was something wrong with the baby and it frightened and saddened him.

Don tensed slightly when he saw the baby didn't look like him or Leo, but there'd be talk for that later. What mattered now was a quick examination of the babies to see if they were all right. He, too, suspected there was something wrong with the second baby, who was now cradled in Leo's arms, Leo talking soothingly to him.

"Why isn't the baby moving his limbs?" Casey asked, earning a poke from April.

"I'm sure the baby's fine, Case," April said, sensing the dads wanted to do a check-up on the babies. "Let's put the kids to bed. Santa will be here soon."

"Santa," Lisa said. "I can't wait. Daddy, can I kiss the babies good night? Wait. Do they have names?"

Leo smiled and said, "Little one that looks like me is Leo and he's Raphie. Come and say hi, kids, and then bed time. Uncle Casey will tell you a story."

Leo stooped down, so the kids could kiss baby Raphie goodnight and Don did the same with baby Leo. Then they went off to their room with April and Casey.

Don did a quick examination on baby Leo, checking his reflexes, his shell, his digits and when he was done, he said, "I'll give them a more thorough test when we're back at the lair, but he looks perfectly healthy. Now for Raphie."

Baby Leo was stoic throughout, but little Raphie lay in Leo's arms, unmoving and mewling in fear. "It's going to be okay," Don soothed, stroking his head. "Daddy just wants to take a look at you." Don did the same test he'd done with Leo and when he was finished, he shook his head sadly.

"What?" Leo asked anxiously.

"Look at him, Leo. He's not moving his arms and legs and he's drooling. Not good signs. I don't think his spine fused well,which means we have a physically handicapped child. Probably mentally handicapped, as well. It would be kinder…" And Don cringed, hating what he was about to say. "To dispose of him."

"Challenged," Leo snapped, visibly upset at his son's diagnosis. "But perhaps with treatment, he can be cured. And dispose? How can you even think such a thing, Donnie?"

"It would be kinder to him in the long run, Leo. He's going to have a shitty life not being able to talk, walk and play with his siblings, and, Leo, we don't have access to those resources. He's going to stay this way forever. We need to think carefully if we can cope with him. We already have four other….."

"Would you say the same thing if he looked like you?" Leo demanded, his face darkening and his sapphire eyes blazing.

"Leo, it's…."

"Would you?"

"Yes! Of course I would, Leo. But why does he look like Raphael? You'd have dumped his sperm out of your pouch years ago."

"I don't know."

"Is he ours? I mean, he doesn't look like us."

"Maybe one of our ancestors looked like Raph, Donnie. I can't explain it, but it doesn't matter," Leo said, curling his fingers around baby Raphie's. "He's still ours and we'll love him the way he deserves." I wonder, Leo thought. If this is Raph. He talked about coming back to us. Is it possible this is him? I'll talk to Ty about it.

"It's going to be extremely taxing on us, Leo, both physically and mentally. Are you prepared for it?" Don asked.

Leo looked down at baby Raphie, who was still crying softly, drool dripping down the corners of his mouth and his heart overflowed with love. "Yes," Leo said and kissed Raphie's beak. "I'll never abandon him, Don. He needs us and love and we can give him all the love he needs. I know it'll be tough, but we'll get through it together, Donnie, and with our family's support. Look at him, Donnie. You can't possibly get rid of this little angel. Look at him, Donnie."

Don cradled baby Leo against his plastron and said, "You're right, Leo. We can't. I'll be there for him every step of the way and I know his siblings will too."

Leo smiled and kissed Don tenderly on the lips. "Thanks, Donnie."

Baby Leo stretched out a hand and touched Raphie's head, which made the baby stop crying and look at him. "Well, look at that," Don said. "Leo touched his head and the baby's stopped weeping. How sweet is that? They clearly have a bond already and like one another."

Leo smiled again and said, "I have a feeling they're going to be really close and Leo will be very protective of him. Let's give them something to eat and then bed time."

XXX

Inside his and Don's bedroom, the dads fed the babies with bottles. Raphie fussed a bit in Leo's arms and found it hard to latch onto the bottle, but after an hour of trying, he got it, Leo holding the bottle, and slowly sucked his formula down. Baby Leo guzzled his down like a pro, while watching his younger twin. His eyes never left him, somehow aware that he was the eldest and would have to watch out for him. Then the twins were changed into diapers and placed into the crib. Within minutes, both babies were asleep, little Leo with his one hand resting on Raphie's plastron, making the parents beam.

The parents kissed the babies and climbed into bed, exhausted. "Night, Leo. I love you," Donnie said, and kissed his cheek. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Donnie. I love you too."

Just before Leo drifted off to sleep, he thought, I know we've got a long journey ahead and many challenges, but I know we'll get through them. We're Hamato's and strong and brave and we can get through anything life throws at us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thanks for all the kudos and feedback. I'm so grateful :)


	7. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins experience snow for the first time. Lots of family fluff.

The next morning, Leo and Don were woken by the sobbing twins and after feeding and changing them, Don looked at his mate, as Leo cradled Raphie to his plastron, and said, “You’re good with him.”

“Why is that a surprise? I love my babies even if they’re not perfect to others. He’s still perfect to me and a gift from God. I’ll adore him forever just like his siblings. Isn’t that right, Raphie? You’re my sweet boy and Daddy loves you so much.”

Raphie looked at Leo, drooling from the corners of his mouth, and Don said, “You’re stronger than me, Leo. I….”

“You what?” Leo demanded, dabbing Raphie’s mouth with a tissue. “Are you saying you can’t deal with a challenged baby? Our baby. Is that it? Look at him, Donnie. He needs us, is going to depend on us. You can’t just walk away, because he’s not the perfect son you expected. It’s not his fault he’s this way.”

Feeling ashamed, Don rubbed the back of his neck and said, “I know that, Leo. He is going to need so much support emotionally and mentally. I’m not sure I can provide him with that and I loathe myself for saying that, but it’s true.”

“Hold him.”

“W-what?”

“Place Leo down and hold Raphie.”

“I can’t.”

“Do it!”

Don placed baby Leo down in the crib and took Raphie, who looked up at him with his golden eyes. Nervously, Don cradled the baby and studied his little face and his heart overflowed with love. How could I ever think of walking away from him, Don thought? I’m scum for contemplating it. Raphie may not be perfect, but he needs us. Both of us and I can’t disappoint him. He is a miracle and a blessing. Just as much as baby Leo and all our kids are.

“And?” Leo asked. “What do you see? Imperfections? That’s not what I see when I look at him. I see a sweet, little soul, who needs to be loved and I know I can give him that. Sure, at times it’ll be difficult, but I know that I’ll do my damndest to be the best Daddy for him and for him to know he is loved and accepted and needed. I will never make him feel unwanted or unloved. He’s beautiful, Donnie. Do you still feel the same way?”

“No,” Don said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I was a coward to think of exterminating him or walking away from him.”

“Then tell him you’re sorry and you love him and will always be there for him. He needs to know that, Donnie. If you can’t do that, walk away now.”

“Raphie, I’m sorry,” Don said, stroking the baby’s cheek with one hand. “I will try to be a good Daddy to you and to always be there for you no matter what.”

“Gah!” Raphie said, as if understanding and thinking, I’m not perfect like Leo, but I will bring ya love and try and make ya happy, Daddy. Please don’t hate me, because I’m different. I can’t help it and don’t be mad if I can’t do the things my brothers and sister do.

“Wonderful,” Leo said, and patted his mate on the shoulder.

Raphie is different, baby Leo thought, but I don’t care. He’s my brother and I love him. I always will.

Don placed Raphie in the crib next to his twin and baby Leo locked his eyes on him, making Leo smile. “Bless,” Leo said. “I think they’re going to be fantastic friends. Come on, Donnie. Let’s go grab breakfast while they nap.”

When the parents had gone, baby Leo looked at his twin and said, “Baboo Goo.” Meaning I love you.

“Baboo. Goo!” Raphie said, understanding and telling him the same thing.

“Googoo Gah Bahba.” I always will.

“Googoo Gah Bahba.”

Leo stretched out a chubby hand and touched his brother’s cheek, making him coo softly. Yes, Leo thought. We have our own language and we’re going to be just fine. I will spend the rest of my life looking after him and no one can break our bond.

XXX

Leo and Don went into the kitchen and found Holly and Mikey cooking waffles and bacon. The rest of the family was at the table. Don and Mikey kissed the kids and sat down. “Daddy, where are the babies?” Alex asked.

“Resting,” Leo said.

“When can they play, Daddy?” Lisa said.

“Not for some time,” Don said. “They’re too small and when you hold them, you’ll have to be especially careful with Raphie. He’s smaller and different.”

“Different how?” Ty asked.

Mikey placed steaming plates of bacon and waffles and after everyone had helped themselves and was tucking in, Leo said, “Remember Aunt April’s cousin, Marla?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, Marla’s confined to a wheelchair,” April said. “And she can’t run and play like other kids.”

“Are ya sayin’ that’s the case with Raphie?”

“Yes,” Don said.

“But it wasn’t a problem with Marla,” Ty said. “She couldn’t run and play like us, but we played video games and chatted and we tried ta make her feel like she fitted in and I know she had a blast, because she said she did. We liked Marla for her and didn’t see her problems. We’ll do the same thing for Raphie. No problem. Raphie will never feel like he doesn’t belong and he’ll be loved.”

“Not quite the same,” Leo said sadly. “See, Raphie may not be able to talk or play video games, Ty.”

Ty’s face fell and then it lit up, as he said, “So, I’ll just try and find things he can do, Daddy. Like readin'. I can read ta him and talk ta him and miracles happen, Daddy. Maybe he’ll learn ta talk. I’ll help him as much as I can and I know Lisa and Alex will too, right, guys?”

Leo’s heart swelled with affection for his son. Despite his often gruff exterior, he really was a sweetheart. Just like Raphael had been. “Maybe he’ll like dollies,” Lisa said.

“No way!” Ty scoffed. “He’s a boy. Boys don’t play with dolls. Do they, Alex?”

Alex shook his head and said, “No. Just because Raphie’s different doesn’t mean he wants dollies. I hate dollies. He will too!”

“Not true. You said you wanted a dolly for your birthday,” Lisa said.

“I was joking!” Alex screamed, his cheeks reddening. “Dollies are for girls. I like trucks and cars and ninjitsu and you shouldn’t be doing that, because you’re a girl.”

“So what? I’ll be a better ninja than you! I already am.”

“Well, just wait until I’m bigger!”

“Anyway,” Tyler said, ignoring the spat. “Daddy, Raphie will be loved. Ya don’t have ta worry.”

Leo smiled at his son and said, “Thank you, my boy. That means a lot to us.”

XXX

After breakfast, Lisa said excitedly, as she looked out of the lounge window at the white blanket that covered the garden, “It’s snowing! Can we go outside and play? Please? Please!”

“Only if you’re properly dressed,” Leo said. “Come on.”

“Yay!” Alex said. “I can’t wait! Going to be so much fun!”

Mikey chuckled and said, as Leo went to dress the kids, “You coming too, Holls?”

“No,” Holly said. “I don’t care for snow. I’ll be inside baking. Have fun.”

As Leo dressed the kids, Ty said, “Can the babies come and see the snow, Daddy?”

“They’re too small, Ty.”

“Just for five minutes. Ya can dress them in snow suits. Please, Daddy.”

“All right.”

“Yay!” Ty said. He bent over the crib and kissed his brothers’ cheeks. “Guess what, guys? Yer gonna see snow!”

Why’s he so excited, Raphie thought? And he looks like a mummy all wrapped up! So dumb. I’d never allow myself. Whoa. What is Daddy doin’, Raphael, thought, as he was dressed in a red snow suit with a matching hood and gloves? Don’t like this. “Waaah!”

“Shh,” Leo said. “It’s a snow suit, Raphie. Leo’s going to wear a blue one. Don’t cry.”

“Googoo Boobooo!” baby Leo babbled, as he was dressed. “It’s okay, brother.”

“Googoo Boobooo!” Raphie said, calming down.

“I think you have your own language,” Leo said and smiled. “You know, your dad and I used to too, Ty.”

“Doesn’t surprise me. Ya guys were super close and soulmates.”

“That we were.”

“And ya finished each other’s sentences. Somethin’ ya and Don don’t do.”

“Yes. Don and I love one another, but it’s not the same as what your dad and I had.”

“Course not. Uncle Donnie is second best.”

“Stop saying that, Ty. It’s not nice.”

“True, though. My dad will always be number one and yer soulmate. Donnie will always be second best. Hey, Daddy, I was wonderin’. Do ya think that Raphie is really my daddy, because I’d have thought the new babies would look like ya and Donnie and only Leo looks like one of ya?

“I don’t know. I was wondering the same thing and if that’s what Raph meant when we’d see him soon.”

Lisa screeched from beside Leo and said, “Alex threw a spider at me, Daddy!”

“Ninny!” Alex said and giggled.

“Not nice,” Leo scolded. “Say sorry to your sister!”

“I’m sorry, sis, but it was funny!”

“Alex!”

“I’m sorry, sis. I won’t do it again.”

“Yeah, right! So going to get you back.”

“We’ll talk later, Ty,” Leo said. “Come on, kids, and Alex, behave or no TV later.”

“Okay, Daddy. I’ll be a good boy.”

Leo picked up the babies and went in search of Don, who joined him and the other kids outside. Leo handed baby Leo to Don and cuddled Raphie close to his plastron. “See the snow, Raphie?” he said. “It’s white. Feel it on your skin?”

“Gagooooo booooooo!” baby Leo said, his eyes wide, as he gazed at the snow that softly fell. Look, brother.

“Booboo Gaga!” Raphie said. I’m looking.

Ty, his siblings, Casey, April and Mikey had snowballs wars and were having a grand time when, Ty stopped and said, “Be back a minute.” He picked up some snow and went to Leo, who was standing watching them and said, “Raphie, I know you can’t touch the snow, so I brought it to you.”

“Gagagooo goo!” Raphie said. What is that?

“Googoooga,” baby Leo said. Snow.

Baby Raphie tried stretching out a hand and failed, his limb not willing to work. He scrunched up his face in frustration and tried again, as the snow began to melt, determined to touch the snow. Tyler smiled, picked up more snow and held it out to his brother. After ten more attempts, baby Raphie’s fingers touched the snow and he cooed in delight, his golden eyes shining with happiness. He’d won. He’d touched the white stuff his brother had offered and he felt fantastic.

“Yay!” Tyler said. “Well done, Raphie. I’m so proud of ya. Look, Daddy. He’s a champion, a fighter.”

“He is,” Leo said, and beamed. “And it’s all down to you.”

“See, Daddy? Raphie’s gonna be just fine. He’s not a quitter and he’ll never let his disabilities bring him down. He’s a lesson ta us all, Daddy. That no matter what, we should never give up. He inspires me.”

“That he is, Ty. You’re so wise for your age.”

“You certainly are,” Don said. “

“Yeah,” Tyler said. “I think Raphie was sent ta us ta teach us that. I love him, Daddy, and I think we’ll be good friends too.”

“Googagoo, Goo!” baby Leo said. Good job, brother.

“Googoo!” Raphie said. Thank ya.

Ty grinned and said, “I think they agree. Here you go, Leo. Here’s some snow.” He scooped up more snow and held it out to baby Leo, who touched it, his eyes wide with surprise and delight. “Gagooooo!” It’s cold.

“Ga!” Raphie said. Yes.

“Great job, Leo,” Ty said. “I love you too. I’m going to play with the others. Can I help you bath the babies later, Daddy?”

“Of course you can, champ,” Leo said. “I love you.”

“Love ya too, Daddy!” Tyler said, and raced off to join the others.

“So, what do you think, Don?” Leo asked. “You look deep in thought.”

“I think we’re blessed to have such incredible kids and that while there will be challenges ahead, we’ll be okay.”

“I absolutely agree and I think Raphie will do his best to overcome his disabilities. He won’t feel sorry for himself and be a quitter. I can already see that’s not in his nature.” Just like my Raph, Leo thought. Maybe this is him reincarnated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thanks for the kudos and reviews. You guys are wonderful.  
> I just adore writing turtle tots.


	8. Christmas Day continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of fluff, as the Hamato's continue celebrating Christmas and Leo and Ty are overjoyed when they get an unexpected visitor.

April went inside with Leo and the twins a while later, while the rest played outside. “I’ll set the crib up in the lounge,” Leo said. “Do you mind holding them while I do that, April?”

“Of course not,” April said, taking the twins and looking at them lovingly. “They’re so beautiful, Leo. You must be so proud.”

“I am.”

“One thing puzzles me. How come the other baby looks like Raph and not you or Donnie?”

“It’s going to sound crazy, but I believe that’s Raph reincarnated.”

April’s eyes widened and she said, “You’re kidding?”

“No. I honestly believe that’s him. I’d have dumped his sperm out of my pouch years ago. What other reason could there be?”

“I think you’ve been drinking too much eggnog, Leo. That sounds far fetched.”

“Raph also appeared to me.”

“Like in a dream?”

“No. He came to my room in his spiritual form and told me that he’d soon be back. I think this is what he meant.”

“Look, I know you miss him incredibly, Leo, but him appearing? I think you dreamed it.”

“Ty saw him too.”

“You both wanted it to happen and it did in your dreams, Leo. Raphael’s gone and there’s no way he’s coming back.”

“Then your explanation for this baby?”

“I think somehow Raphael’s sperm remained in your body and this is yours and his, but reincarnation? Come on. That’s a bunch of hogwash!”

“I’m not making it up!” Leo snapped. “Raph came to me and we talked and I’ll prove this is Raph. I’ll take a paternity test when I’m back home.”

“And if this is Raph, what will you do? He’s Raph, but not Raph. You know what I mean and you’re with Donnie now.”

“I damn well know that!”

“And paternity tests aren’t always accurate, Leo.”

“I’ll still raise him as my son and love him. Please don’t tell anyone about this conversation. I’d like to keep it between us until I’ve run the tests.”

“Fine, but I’m telling you now that is your son and not Raphael. Ghosts. Honestly, Leo. I thought you wouldn’t believe crap like that.”

Leo opened his mouth to retort, but thought better of it and went into the bedroom, retrieving the crib and dragging it into the lounge. “You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” April asked, as she and Leo removed the babies’ snow suits and placed them in the crib.

“I know what I saw,” Leo said, and covered his babies with a blanket. He kissed them and added, “I’m not crazy and I never believed in ghosts until then. Raphael was there. We talked, but believe what you want, April.”

“Shouldn't you should tell Donnie if you’re so adamant?”

“Tell me what?” Don asked, as he stepped inside with the gang.

“That a thunderstorm is about to hit,” Leo said. “Heard it on the news. We should batten down the hatches and ensure we have enough wood for the heating.”

“I didn’t hear about a thunderstorm.”

“Well, I did, Don. Do you think I’d fib about that?”

“No,” Don said, as he helped the kids off with their jackets and gloves. “Is there enough wood, Casey?”

“Yep and enough supplies for at least a week. Speaking of food, I’m starved. Where’s the grub?”

“After presents!” Lisa yelled, picking up a yellow wrapped one and shaking it.

“You heard the lady,” April said, and laughed. “Holly, you coming?”

“Yes. I just need help bringing the refreshments, please, April.”

“Coming.”

XXX

Five minutes later, trays of refreshments on the coffee table, including Holly’s famous triple chocolate brownies, as well as a plate of cinnamon rolls ( Leo loved those), a roaring fire had been lit and carols were playing, Tyler said, “Somethin’ else is missin’.”

“The babies,” Lily said. “They have to be a part of this, Daddy. It’s their first Christmas. Hold them and let them see what’s going on.”

Leo smiled and said, “But they won’t understand. They’re so….”

“Daddy, just do as I say. Please.”

“All right,” Leo said, rising to his feet and picking up the babies. He carried them back to the sofa and gently sat down, one in each arm.

“Googoo gooogaga,” baby Raphie said, as he took in the Christmas tree and the presents. What is that?”

“Googoaba nono,” baby Leo said. I don’t know.

“Now we’re all here,” Alex said. “Come on! I can’t wait for mine. Just tear the damn paper, sis. You take an age!”

“But they went to so much trouble wrapping and the paper’s so pretty and can be used again,” ever practical Lisa said to Alex’s annoyance.

“Alex, watch your mouth,” Don admonished.

“But damn isn’t that bad, Daddy. Now fuck is…”

“Alex!”

“What Uncle Casey says it all the time?”

“Well, he shouldn’t,” Leo said, glaring at Casey, who shifted awkwardly on the sofa with April. “It’s rude and I won’t allow it either. Now behave or there’ll be no presents, young man.”

“Okay, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

Lisa finally unwrapped her present and squealed in delight, when she saw she’d been given a box of crayons and a large coloring book. “Thank you, Daddy!” she said, and kissed both Don and Leo.

“Gagoooooo boon,” baby Raphie said. Why is she so happy?

“Gonababo baboooba,” baby Leo said. Present.

Tyler handed Alex a blue wrapped gift and he tore the paper excitedly, his hazel eyes shining in happiness, when he saw he had a huge yellow truck. “Wow. I love it. Thank you, Daddy!” he shouted. “It’s beautiful.”

“Aunty April’s turn,” Tyler said, giving her a green wrapped present.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” April said, opening it and smiling when she saw it was a brown leather photo album. “Casey, it’s lovely,” she said, and kissed him on the lips.

“You’re welcome, honey, for memories of us and the baby.”

“Next up was Leo, who beamed, when he opened his gift, a painting of Raphael in his gear and mask, looking tenderly at Leo, as he held the egg that contained Tyler. Raphael’s face was pure excitement, his golden eyes shining. Tyler had seen the photo many times and the painting was a perfect replica.

Don bristled and thought, typical kid to bring Raphael into the equation!

“You like it, Daddy?” Tyler asked. “I worked on it for months.”

“It’s gorgeous,” Leo said, and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

“Will ya hang it in yer bedroom?”

Not wishing to offend his son, but knowing Don would be jealous about it (he hated seeing any photos of Raphael), Leo said, “I’ll find a good place for it, Ty. You sure are talented. You get that from Raph. He loved painting and drawing and was exceptional. He’d be proud.”

Tyler puffed up his little plastron in pride and said, “I am proud of him. Daddy was the best ninja and a hero.”

“Who’s next?” Don asked, fed up with the Raphael love fest. 

Tyler fetched a present and handed it to Casey, who ripped the paper and grinned, when he saw it was a year’s subscription to Auto World. “Thanks, Ape,” he said and kissed her on the lips.

More presents were handed out and everyone loved theirs. Finally, it was the last one: Alex’s. He ripped the paper off and shrieked with glee when he saw he had two stuffed toy turtles. He’d wanted one for months, but there hadn’t been any in the shops and now he had two. “Wow,” he said, hugging them to his plastron. “You got them, Daddy. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, baby,” Don said.

“That’s it,” Holly said. “I’m going to make some tea. Anyone want anything?”

Everyone declined and Alex said. “What about the babies?”

“There’s next year,” Leo said.

“No, Daddy. This is their first Christmas. They have to have something! Looking around at his toys, Alex saw they were too advanced for tiny babies, but something else would be just right. Without a second thought, he said, “I love my turtles, but the babies need a present and they can have them. I don’t mind. Maybe I can get another turtle with the after Christmas sales or whatever.”

“You sure, honey?” Leo asked, blown away by his thoughtful gesture.

Alex nodded and said, “Yep.” He placed the toys in Leo’s lap and added, “Besides, they need toys and they don’t have any. This will make them happy and I want to see my brothers happy.”

“Thank you, my boy. They’ll love it.”

Baby Leo and baby Raphie stared wide eyed at the toys in Leo’s lap. “Baboo bawa?” baby Raphie said. Brother, what is that?

“Ooobooo baboo,” baby Leo said. Our toy.

Leo smiled and said, “They’re talking to one another again. So sweet. Thank you again, Alex.”

“My pleasure, Daddy,” Alex said, picking up a turtle and showing it to baby Raphie, who gazed at it in wonder. “It’s yours, Raphie. Yours. Leo has his own one. I hope you’ll love it.”

“He does,” Leo said, as Raphael attempted to touch it with his fingers, but failed. Wailing in frustration and scrunching up his little face, baby Raphie tried again and managed to touch it. He gurgled happily and thought, my toy. Alex good. Love Alex.

“Anyone fancy something to eat?” April asked.

They all assented and headed to the kitchen, Leo holding baby Raphie and Don holding baby Leo, the toys left on the couch until later.

XXX

Don and Leo were feeding the twins before they ate. Don said, “Leo, baby Raphie’s not getting anything down. Not sucking hard enough.

“I know that, Don,” Leo said and sighed.

“Daddy, you need to eat,” Lisa said.

“We will when they’re fed,” Leo said. “Rest of you, please don’t wait. Carry on.”

Baby Leo guzzled his bottle down and Don said, “Leo, I have a plan.” He gave baby Raphie his finger and the baby latched on to it and after a while began to suck harder. “Now, try, Leo,” he said.

When Don had removed his finger, Leo gave baby Raphie his bottle and this time, he sucked harder and began to swallow the formula, soon finishing it and letting out a contented burp. Leo smiled and said, “Thanks, Don.”

“No problem.”

Leo and Don then shifted the babies to one arm, as they ate.

XXX

That evening, Ty was in bed, when he sensed a presence. “Who’s there?”

“Just me,” Raphael said, appearing.

“Daddy!” Ty said in delight and rushed to him. "Missed you, Daddy," he added, throwing his arms around Raphael. “Am I dreamin’?”

“Nope,” Raphael said after pulling apart a few minutes later and looking at him affectionately. “I’m here and I got ya somethin’. Raphael fished in his obi, withdrew a key and gave it to him.

“What’s that for, Daddy?”

“I have a secret place in the sewers with some paintings and a lot of art stuff. Stuff I never showed anyone. I was gonna, but then I died, so it’s all yers. Ya’ll also find more photos, my gamin’ stuff. I left it there. More diaries and more of my gear. I think I left some adult stuff there too, but give that ta yer Daddy! Don’t peek inside the box, okay? It’s not for kids.”

“Wow, Daddy. That’s so cool. Thank ya.”

“Squirt, I know yer real happy I’m back even if it’s as a baby, but don’t tell Donnie or the others, okay, that the baby's me? They won’t believe ya and Donnie loathes me. He may hurt the baby if he knows it’s me. Keep it a secret between ya and Daddy Leo.”

“I will. Are ya gonna spend the night?”

“Yeah, but I wanna go see Leo. I’ll be back. I love ya, Ty.”

“Love ya too, Daddy.”

XXX

Leo had moved the crib back to his room, placed the babies in it and the toy turtles next to them. He kissed them and whispered, “Love you both so much.”

“They are beautiful,” Don said. “I’m going to watch some TV. You coming? It’s only eight p.m.”

“Nah. I think I’ll get an early night. Merry Christmas, Don, and thanks for all you do. I love you.”

“Love you too and Merry Christmas,” Don said, and kissed him. “See you later.”

Leo sat down, undressed and was about to climb into bed, when a male voice said, “Sure has been an eventful Christmas.”

Leo looked up and his jaw dropped when he saw his Raphael standing in front of him. “Raph?”

“Yeah. Yer not imaginin’ me.”

Leo jumped up and ran to him and hugged him tightly, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I love you, Raph.”

“Love ya too, Fearless.”

When they’d pulled apart, Leo saw that Raphael’s cheeks were also streaked with tears. “That is you in the crib, isn’t it, Raph?”

“Yes, but best not ta tell anyone, Leo. They’ll think yer delusional and best not ta tell Donnie. Ya know his feelings toward me may change if he knows it’s me. He’s jealous of what we had, Leo.”

“And the paternity test?”

“Don’t take it. Just say that a miracle happened and it’s my sperm in ya that made the baby. That can happen ta turtles, Leo. That sperm they thought was gone, is still there. Keep the truth between ya and Ty.”

“I will, but Raph, what are you doing here?”

“It’s Christmas, ain’t it? And it’s the time ta be with yer loved ones, and ya and Ty are my family, so here I am. I got somethin’ for ya.”

“They have shops in heaven?”

Raphael laughed and said, “Yeah. But they didn’t have what I wanted. I got ya this. Remember it?” He fished out a box from his obi and gave it to Leo.

Opening it, Leo blinked in surprise, when he saw a silver locket inlaid with ruby and sapphire diamonds and the inscription ‘ Ta Leo, all my love forever, Raph’. Raphael had a matching locket, but his inscription said, ‘To Raph, all my love forever, Leo.’ “Where did you find this?” Leo asked. “I thought I lost it.”

Raphael produced his own from his obi and put it on. “I think Don went snoopin’ around and hid things remindin’ ya of me. I found these in a cupboard in the laundry room. They were right at the back and filthy, so I washed them. He don’t want ya ta remember me, Leo, and I can sorta understand it, but…I wander the house at night, lookin’ for our stuff and puttin’ them in places ya will find that Donnie won’t. I’ll tell ya where when I appear ta ya and I will sometimes.”

Tyler entered the bedroom and said, “Sorry. I just wanted ta tell Daddy Leo that ya were back, Daddy.”

“It’s fine, sweetheart,” Raphael said. “I’m glad yer here. Now we’re all together. Group hug.”

They hugged one another and there wasn’t a dry eye and when they’d pulled apart, Leo said, “Stay tonight, Raph?”

“Course and Leo, when ya find out stuff, put it somewhere Don doesn’t go ta. Now, let’s watch It’s a Wonderful Life. I love that movie.”

A few minutes later, the movie on and nestled between Raphael and Ty, Leo thought, why couldn’t someone else have died? Why Raph?

Raphael caught him looking distant and whispered, “Hey. I’m here now, baby. And I’ll pop by whenever I can. In the meantime, ya still have me as the baby. I love ya so very much. Merry Christmas.”

Leo kissed him deeply on the lips and said, “I love you too, Raph.” The lovers kissed again.

“Now it’s Christmas,” Ty declared, as he watched his parents kiss. “This is the best Christmas ever.”

Raphael broke the kiss and said with a grin, “It sure is, squirt. Love ya too.”

Leo thought, as he resumed kissing Raphael, I love him and I wish….I wish he wasn’t back as a baby, but as himself and we could be together again properly. For always. The way we should have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thank you for all the kudos and reviews :)


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